The Funny Side of DICON™
What is DICON?
Q: DICON? I thought it was DICOM. With an M.
A: Nope, it’s DICON… unless you actually know what you’re talking about. THEN, it’s DICOM. (Read the Disclaimer below.)
Find the right study
Which element is unique?
Now, wait a minute:
(0020,000D) seems familiar.
Q: What do dentists call their x-ray images?
A: Tooth pics.
Did you hear the one about the rejected association? What, too soon?
Sophisticated Society Joke
Q: How do you make a good port wine?
A: Attach a DICOM archive to it and send it an HTTP request.
RSNA = Real System Not Available (Anonymous)
PACS = Pain And Constant Suffering (Derek Mize, CHI, TN)
Group 28 Joke
Q: What’s black and white and red all over?
A: A SOP instance for an 8-bit grayscale CT image with incorrect values for about 8 different Group 28 elements.
This lady is distraught and goes to her psychiatrist for advice. Says to the psychiatrist, “Doc, I’m really concerned. I’m not sure what to do about my new boyfriend. He’s a DICON programmer, but he’s also a drug dealer, an inside trader, a domestic terrorist, a tree hugger, a trial attorney and a tobacco industry lobbyist.” “I see. So, what is your concern?” says the psychiatrist. “Well, he’s meeting my parents for the first time and I want to know if I should tell them that he’s a DICON programmer.”
DICON Programmer Threat Levels
There once was a PACS from Nantucket
PDU replay capturing is a great tool for aggression testing.
|10||You decided to print out PS3.3.|
|9||You frequently consider what other types of data you could put into the pixel data tag.|
|8||You attend your company Halloween party as the DICONATOR.|
|7||You use the Ultrasound Multi-frame Image Storage abstract syntax like it’s going out of style.|
|6||Conformance claim? My dog ate it.|
|5||You’re not using the DICOM Connectivity Framework from Laurel Bridge Software to develop your app. (Sorry, the marketing dept. made me put this one in because they thought having a page of DICOM jokes was stupid.)|
|4||You turn to George Clooney* for DICOM advice.|
|3||You use instance UIDs as primary keys in the database.|
|2||Transfer Syntax? Schmansfer Syntax.|
|1||Annotations? You burn ’em in.|
Look Both Ways
Q: Why did the DICON cross the road?
A: To find the store with the lossless compression transfer syntax.
Knock Knock Jokes
I can’t tell you that.
The Wrath of DICON
DICON’t remember my SOP Instance UID!
You Know You’re a Radiologist When…
Written by Amir Fuad
- you switch off all the room lights when watching TV or when you are at the computer.
- the strawberry milkshake at McDonald’s turns you off (It looks like a barium preparation for a swallow).
- someone asks a favour from you in the middle of the night, you say, “Will it make much of a difference if I do it for you tomorrow morning, instead?”
- someone asks you to comment on a picture, you use words like “soft”, “too noisy”, “motion blurring”, etc.
- you refer to dust on your wedding photo as “artifacts”.
- your spouse asks you how your day was, you describe it in detail and sum it up by giving an overall impression.
- you always wonder what’s that thing hanging around other doctor’s necks, and then suddenly it hits you – it’s a stethoscope!
- every time you see other people’s hands, you think to yourself, “Mmmmm…good veins!”.
- someone asks you what’s the best contraceptive, you say, “X-ray”.
- in order to drive the point home that your spouse took too many photos with the camera, you do a reject analysis.
Radiologist Diagnosis… Oh, Snap!
A radiology technician in a hospital emergency room took X rays of a trauma patient. The tech brought the films to the radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of both femurs and pelvis.
“What happened to this patient?” the radiologist asked in astonishment.
“He fell out of a tree,” the tech replied.
“What was he doing up in a tree?”
“I’m not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Acme Tree Experts.”
Gazing intently at the X rays, the radiologist blinked and said, “Cross out ‘experts.'”